Y’all bear with me, this is lengthy.
As a girl and now woman I have always been very careful of where and when I run. I make sure I have a plan of where I would go or who I would call… how I would get away. I’ve been running alone since I was 12 so there’s a lot of experience with it here. And over the years I’ve come up with some pretty creative ways to get away. ;-P
Yes. Sometimes this ticks me off and I wish I could go for a run whenever, wherever, and not worry about a thing (especially what I wear). It’s my safety though and I take responsibility for it.Now here’s the first part… yesterday I went for a run on the seawall. It was daylight, there were plenty of people around, cars driving by regularly. It’s a fairly safe place to run alone as a woman. I made a mistake. I brought the wrong shorts. I forgot that I’ve gained 10lb since I bought them making them inappropriate to wear while running… on the seawall. See, my other clothes were 2 hours away so that wasn’t an option. And buying more when I don’t need more is not my thing either. Not running was out of the question. So I bit the bullet and I ran in these shorts.
It was one of those runs where the sun is shining. The wind is blowing so you have to really push yourself. When you turn around and the wind is at your back making you feel like you’ve got this run. The kind of run that when you finish you have tan lines, you’re sweaty, your muscles ache, and you feel really accomplished. Man, that was a great run.
But these men, they kept staring. Not just glancing. Vigorously turning their heads and staring at me as I ran by. Men honking as they drove by. Nothing subtle about it. As a woman, I’m telling you, this isn’t flattering. It’s rude. It’s degrading. Guilt and shame flood in. And all I did was wear the wrong shorts.
Men, please. I won’t tell you not to look but at least be discreet and respectful. We are humans. It’s not a compliment. The problem is, the men that read this probably won’t be the men that need the reminder. So do me a favor and tell a man who does?
The next part…
Today I went for another run. This time on a road that isn’t traveled very much. I dressed appropriately. I had everything under control. My plans in line. A few minutes go by and this truck drives by me (a 2nd time) only this time he rolls his window down and wants to talk to me. Typically I will respond and keep moving because I’m just trying to keep the peace… you know. So I did, and he had 2 things to tell me…. after asking if I spoke English. Haha.
#1 He asked if I knew that they hunt ducks in the pond nearby, and he wouldn’t want me getting shot, so it’s not a safe road… I said I didn’t know that, thank you.
#2 “if you were my daughter you would not be out here running alone. You need to stay by cars. Do not be out here alone. There are mean people out here.” Again I said thank you.
He meant well.
I got angry. But not at him. I’d just started my run so I had quite a while to think about this right then. I am truly so thankful for the safety tips he gave me. I am angry that he felt the need to tell me #2. That in this world today, I have to be extraordinarily cautious just to go for a run. I will continue to run and I will continue to be cautious, even if I shouldn’t have to. I’ve become a firm believer in not complaining about all the problems in the world and instead to do you part in helping the world to be a better place. I can’t fix it all, but I can do what I’m called to do. I can help heal the world in this way.
So now I’m going out on a limb, and praying it doesn’t break, to say this… The mean people who hurt people, they’re hurting. They need help. Their minds are not healthy. I can’t help those people today. But those people were once children. They were teenagers. They were/are young adults. They are humans. We are also humans. Be kind. Reach out. Give of your heart and of your time. People need love. They need kindness shown to them. Start conversations. Be compassionate. Show grace. Spread love to all the ends of the earth in the way that only you can. Lead by example. Someone is always watching.
This world can be cruel, but we can make it better. You and I. In our own ways.
❤Olivia
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